Sooo the Party didn't go as planned (as things that are planned rarely do), the Iguana Stew didn't show up and the Birthday Cake was MIA. But us Lenox's are known to pull something from nothing, and two hours later we had enough rice, chicken, and fruit to feed the whole community.
And interestingly enough, we actually did feed the whole community.
Not a single adult that I invited showed up.
Instead the people that came out to celebrate Danika's life with us were the Spanish street kids that I so often times wished in my head would just leave us alone.
They would come around every day asking to hold Danika and follow us around so close they would actually step on my heels. They would wait for my car to come around the corner after work everyday and chase it yelling , "Do-nika, Do-nika!!!" Their lives began and ended with their friend "Do-Nika". And Ms. Do-Nika loved them right back. Not sure if it was the actual kids' she loved, or the fact that she was ALWAYS the center of attention with them, but laughter knows no language, and friendship knows no culture, and theirs was a beautiful one.
Often times before they left they would ask for a simple drink of water from our water jug, and it would painfully remind me that clean water is a luxury item promised to no one down here.
There were times that I would look at their dirty clothes that had been worn for weeks in a row, and their dirty faces and hands, and make an excuse why they couldn't hold Danika. As if her clean clothes were too important for their dirty hands.
A pang of guilt washes over me as I watch them laughing and blowing bubbles at her Birthday in the very best dresses they could find. Clean face, clean hands, clean clothes. I think of them staying up all night scrubbing their church dresses until they were spotless, and my heart loves them so much more than I can even handle.
I pass out purple yarn for everyone to wear on their wrists as a symbol of love and support for Danika. They move their arms very carefully as to not break the yarn bracelet, and I know that months and months from now they will still faithfully be wearing her friendship bracelet.
They write on her posterboard words of love and friendship, and I know that they mean every single word.
They are honest. They are sincere. They are grateful. They are more perfect than any adult I have met thus far.
I watch my mom bring out more rice and chicken as the kids eagerly wait their turn to fill their plates. She tries to converse with them in the best way she knows how, hand gestures. I tell her that they don't understand her when she speaks English to them, but she tries anyhow. I can see her struggle with the language barrier, but her smiles and kind words don't need translation, they are understood perfectly.
Life works out perfectly, it always does. And there was no better way to spend my daughter's 1st Birthday.
Thank you God for this life that you have blessed me with.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Birthday Wishes
Just a quick note to everyone who sent Danika Birthday Wishes, THANK YOU!!!
Trust me, they made there way all the way over here and it was a fantastic birthday!! (Will tell all about it tomorrow I swear)
To Wendy and Grandma and Grandpa Lenox, thank you for taking the time to acknowledge the birth of my daughter. Although it might not always be expressed, Family does mean a lot to me, and even more to my daughter, so although I had hoped there would have been more than just two cards or emails from her entire family, I'm sure good thoughts were sent by the rest.
Love you all!!!
Trust me, they made there way all the way over here and it was a fantastic birthday!! (Will tell all about it tomorrow I swear)
To Wendy and Grandma and Grandpa Lenox, thank you for taking the time to acknowledge the birth of my daughter. Although it might not always be expressed, Family does mean a lot to me, and even more to my daughter, so although I had hoped there would have been more than just two cards or emails from her entire family, I'm sure good thoughts were sent by the rest.
Love you all!!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Love Letter to My Daughter on Her 1st Birthday
Danika Rain~
Our journey together began just one short year ago. It is amazing to me that we have known each other for only 625 days, yet I feel you have been etched in my heart for all my life.
You have become as natural to me as the air that I breathe, the beat of my heart, the blink of my eye. You are my weakness and my strength. My tears and my laughter. The end of one chapter, and the beginning of another. One we will write together. Our tears and our laughter will splash on the pages of our journey, our story will be written with victories and with hardships. Both will taste sweeter and be cushioned lighter as we brave the storm in each other’s arms.
You have taught me more than I ever thought humanly possible. A tiny little Buddha trapped in such a small body. For 23 years I have searched for something that I had no idea how to find. And in one short year you have shown me through your not always quiet wisdom, what true love feels like.
After 23 years of restlessness, my heart is at peace.
And although I am supposed to be the protector and the provider, you my love, have been both for our small yet completely perfect little family we have created together. You have protected my heart with your stubby little fingers, promising to never let anything happen to it that we can’t mend together. And you have provided us with more laughter and insight into this world than all the visas stamped in our passports combined. And every brief glimpse that you allow me to see the world through your eyes, is a glimpse into what heaven truly must look like. For you hold no anger, no negativity, no ill will, for anything. You look at everything around you, including me, with the perfect love that God has wished for us all.
We have created quite the indestructable tribe, you and I. It is as though we speak a language no one can understand, a secret that we hold behind our eyes that no one else can see.
I am so in love with you. It overwhems me at times the capacity of love that my heart can hold for you.
You patiently wait as I fumble around trying to figure out the how and where of our life story. You look at me and silently assure me that as long as I am there, you don’t care where in this world we are. And as I look around in growing panic at the world I have brought you into, you smile at me and splash happily in the bucket of cold water that is now your “tubby”.
This past year has brought us in and out of many trials, and although I wish everyday for the power to be able to promise you no more, I know that you trust unconditionally that I will keep us safe through the storms.
You have changed the way that I think, the way that I speak, the way that I act. You take my breath away everyday.
You have made me the person I have always wanted to be, just by allowing me to be your mom.
I thank God everyday for choosing me for this great and powerful role.
You are the light that leads me to the place where I find peace, the strength that keeps me standing, the hope that keeps me trusting, the breath in my soul, you are my purpose, you are my everything…
Ms. Danika Rain, I promise you today, that I will spend every waking minute trying to make you feel the way that you make me feel every second of everyday.
I love you so much more than even my heart can hold.
Love,
Mom
Our journey together began just one short year ago. It is amazing to me that we have known each other for only 625 days, yet I feel you have been etched in my heart for all my life.
You have become as natural to me as the air that I breathe, the beat of my heart, the blink of my eye. You are my weakness and my strength. My tears and my laughter. The end of one chapter, and the beginning of another. One we will write together. Our tears and our laughter will splash on the pages of our journey, our story will be written with victories and with hardships. Both will taste sweeter and be cushioned lighter as we brave the storm in each other’s arms.
You have taught me more than I ever thought humanly possible. A tiny little Buddha trapped in such a small body. For 23 years I have searched for something that I had no idea how to find. And in one short year you have shown me through your not always quiet wisdom, what true love feels like.
After 23 years of restlessness, my heart is at peace.
And although I am supposed to be the protector and the provider, you my love, have been both for our small yet completely perfect little family we have created together. You have protected my heart with your stubby little fingers, promising to never let anything happen to it that we can’t mend together. And you have provided us with more laughter and insight into this world than all the visas stamped in our passports combined. And every brief glimpse that you allow me to see the world through your eyes, is a glimpse into what heaven truly must look like. For you hold no anger, no negativity, no ill will, for anything. You look at everything around you, including me, with the perfect love that God has wished for us all.
We have created quite the indestructable tribe, you and I. It is as though we speak a language no one can understand, a secret that we hold behind our eyes that no one else can see.
I am so in love with you. It overwhems me at times the capacity of love that my heart can hold for you.
You patiently wait as I fumble around trying to figure out the how and where of our life story. You look at me and silently assure me that as long as I am there, you don’t care where in this world we are. And as I look around in growing panic at the world I have brought you into, you smile at me and splash happily in the bucket of cold water that is now your “tubby”.
This past year has brought us in and out of many trials, and although I wish everyday for the power to be able to promise you no more, I know that you trust unconditionally that I will keep us safe through the storms.
You have changed the way that I think, the way that I speak, the way that I act. You take my breath away everyday.
You have made me the person I have always wanted to be, just by allowing me to be your mom.
I thank God everyday for choosing me for this great and powerful role.
You are the light that leads me to the place where I find peace, the strength that keeps me standing, the hope that keeps me trusting, the breath in my soul, you are my purpose, you are my everything…
Ms. Danika Rain, I promise you today, that I will spend every waking minute trying to make you feel the way that you make me feel every second of everyday.
I love you so much more than even my heart can hold.
Love,
Mom
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